I had been involved in ministry in one way or the other for a number of years. Yet, there is nothing like diving into vocational ministry that teaches you how to swim in the deep end! (Let's just say, I think I looked like this). Please do not get me wrong; I absolutely love and cherish my role and the students with whom I get to do life. However, as I look back on my first six months of ministry, I learned some important, life-shaping lessons that I will carry with me for the first of my life. I figured I’d jot down some notes, in case the lessons I learned can help others who have a call to ministry, are new in a ministry assignment as well, or may need a little encouragement after serving in ministry for years.
Here’s the list!
1) Ask the tough questions: When I walked into the church during my first Sunday, I walked in with “rose-colored glasses.” I had been thinking about all of the wonderful, positive aspects of ministry (awesome games that have to do with slime or Cheetos, deep Jesus conversations, etc.), and I didn’t really think about the tough stuff. Now, in hindsight, I wish I would have asked my ministry mentors and fellow staff members some questions along these lines:
- What is the toughest part of your role?
- How do you balance your time?
- How do you deal with criticism?
- How do you walk alongside those who are in crisis?
- How do you take care of yourself?
3) Keep your empathy in check: There are a lot of hurting people in the world, and there are certainly a lot of hurting people in the church. As I found in my first six months of ministry, it is so important to find a way to care for people, but not carry their burdens. In fact, I had a friend tell me that “empathy can actually get us into trouble.” When we start to take on the hurts of others, then we may be prone to be pulled down as well. If we are going to be effective in journeying with others, we have to remain objective and see their circumstances from an outside perspective. We cannot help them if we begin to carry their “stuff.” Jesus is meant to carry all of our “stuff,” so it is our privilege as ministers to encourage others to entrust their hurts, struggles, hopes, and dreams to Jesus.
4) Be a bridge: I have realized that I cannot fix the circumstances and hurts of others. I never will be able to do so. Jesus is always the solution. However, I have also found that I have had conversations that are above my level of training. In order to best help the person, I must connect them to someone who has more education or training than I do. It is important to have a list of Christians counselors to whom you can refer your students or church members. In these situations, the best way to show someone you care is to be the bridge. Connect them with someone who can continue to journey with them in the ways that will help them come to a place of healing.
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| Be the bridge. |
5) Know your role: In ministry, people can and will have high and sometimes unrealistic expectations of you. Know your role, know your goal, and do not apologize if you cannot meet the needs of everyone. As my mom has always said, “You cannot be all things to all people.”
6) Take care of yourself: In my first six months of ministry, I did not do this well. I was so busy establishing friendships with students, figuring out my schedule, preparing lessons, etc., that I did not realize the importance of self-care. Even when I was not at the church, my mind was consumed with ministry. I was even dreaming about it! I came to realize that I must have a life-balance. I had to prioritize exercise, eating right (no more Corn Nuts and coffee for lunch), getting enough sleep, and spending time with friends and family. The last one is key: I needed time to be poured into. I had been pouring out so much, and had not made it a priority to let my hair down and just laugh.
7) Laugh: Sometimes ministry can be heavy. I realized that I had to be intentional about being light-hearted. I had never had to do this before, but I realized that watching “Ew!” Jimmy Fallon sketches with my husband, playing Catch Phrase with friends, and going shopping with my mom were just important! Laughing does fit into the category of self-care, but I think it is important enough to have its own bullet point!
8) Play to your strengths: After the first six months of being in ministry, it hit me like a ton of bricks that I had not structured my job to fit into my strengths. I am a big fan of Clifton StrengthsFinders and when I stopped and thought about it, I wasn’t utilizing my top five strengths on a regular basis. When processing this with a mentor she said, “No wonder you feel drained!” I am thankful that I work in a church that allows me to build structure and strategize in my role. Therefore, now that I realize I wasn’t playing to my strengths, I am re-shaping my routine. Sure, there will be times that I will have to step out into an area of weakness, but because I am aware of the ways I typically operate, I can do my best to create a framework that allows me to utilize those strengths.
9) Give out of the overflow: Although I wish I could always operate in my strengths, I know that just isn’t the case. Yet, God promises that He is strong when we are weak. If we allow Him to pour into and fill us up, then we just give out of the overflow of what He is giving us.
Honestly, I could add so much more to this list. I have been challenged and stretched in ways I did not dream possible, but I also have seen God’s grace and provision throughout the whole process. I am thankful for this first season of ministry and excited to see what He has in store in the future!
I am curious to hear from some of you! What are some of the biggest lessons you learned when you first started in ministry? What advice would you give to those starting a new ministry assignment? Isn’t it great that we can all learn from each other!?
- Carly
