Wednesday, September 24, 2014

Friday, August 1, 2014

Looking Back On My First Six Months In Ministry

In January, I stepped into a vocational youth ministry role. After working in Christian higher education for years, I had quite a life shift. God opened the door for me to begin serving in a wonderful church and step into the call of ministry that He placed on my life. I entered into my new position full of enthusiasm, positivity, and high expectations. Yet, as I came to find out, I came in a bit unprepared and slightly naive.

I had been involved in ministry in one way or the other for a number of years. Yet, there is nothing like diving into vocational ministry that teaches you how to swim in the deep end! (Let's just say, I think I looked like this). Please do not get me wrong; I absolutely love and cherish my role and the students with whom I get to do life. However, as I look back on my first six months of ministry, I learned some important, life-shaping lessons that I will carry with me for the first of my life. I figured I’d jot down some notes, in case the lessons I learned can help others who have a call to ministry, are new in a ministry assignment as well, or may need a little encouragement after serving in ministry for years.

Here’s the list!

1) Ask the tough questions: When I walked into the church during my first Sunday, I walked in with “rose-colored glasses.” I had been thinking about all of the wonderful, positive aspects of ministry (awesome games that have to do with slime or Cheetos, deep Jesus conversations, etc.), and I didn’t really think about the tough stuff. Now, in hindsight, I wish I would have asked my ministry mentors and fellow staff members some questions along these lines:
  • What is the toughest part of your role?
  • How do you balance your time?
  • How do you deal with criticism?
  • How do you walk alongside those who are in crisis?
  • How do you take care of yourself?
2) Ask the toughest question of all: Will you help me? No one is meant to go on this ministry journey alone. We must each find people who are able to walk with us, process with us, and lift us up in prayer. Asking for help isn't a sign of weakness; it is a sign of strength.
   
3) Keep your empathy in check: There are a lot of hurting people in the world, and there are certainly a lot of hurting people in the church. As I found in my first six months of ministry, it is so important to find a way to care for people, but not carry their burdens. In fact, I had a friend tell me that “empathy can actually get us into trouble.” When we start to take on the hurts of others, then we may be prone to be pulled down as well. If we are going to be effective in journeying with others, we have to remain objective and see their circumstances from an outside perspective. We cannot help them if we begin to carry their “stuff.” Jesus is meant to carry all of our “stuff,” so it is our privilege as ministers to encourage others to entrust their hurts, struggles, hopes, and dreams to Jesus.

4) Be a bridge: I have realized that I cannot fix the circumstances and hurts of others. I never will be able to do so. Jesus is always the solution. However, I have also found that I have had conversations that are above my level of training. In order to best help the person, I must connect them to someone who has more education or training than I do. It is important to have a list of Christians counselors to whom you can refer your students or church members. In these situations, the best way to show someone you care is to be the bridge. Connect them with someone who can continue to journey with them in the ways that will help them come to a place of healing.

Be the bridge.

5) Know your role: In ministry, people can and will have high and sometimes unrealistic expectations of you. Know your role, know your goal, and do not apologize if you cannot meet the needs of everyone. As my mom has always said, “You cannot be all things to all people.”

6) Take care of yourself: In my first six months of ministry, I did not do this well. I was so busy establishing friendships with students, figuring out my schedule, preparing lessons, etc., that I did not realize the importance of self-care. Even when I was not at the church, my mind was consumed with ministry. I was even dreaming about it! I came to realize that I must have a life-balance. I had to prioritize exercise, eating right (no more Corn Nuts and coffee for lunch), getting enough sleep, and spending time with friends and family. The last one is key: I needed time to be poured into. I had been pouring out so much, and had not made it a priority to let my hair down and just laugh.

7) Laugh: Sometimes ministry can be heavy. I realized that I had to be intentional about being light-hearted. I had never had to do this before, but I realized that watching “Ew!” Jimmy Fallon sketches with my husband, playing Catch Phrase with friends, and going shopping with my mom were just important! Laughing does fit into the category of self-care, but I think it is important enough to have its own bullet point!

8) Play to your strengths:
After the first six months of being in ministry, it hit me like a ton of bricks that I had not structured my job to fit into my strengths. I am a big fan of Clifton StrengthsFinders and when I stopped and thought about it, I wasn’t utilizing my top five strengths on a regular basis. When processing this with a mentor she said, “No wonder you feel drained!” I am thankful that I work in a church that allows me to build structure and strategize in my role. Therefore, now that I realize I wasn’t playing to my strengths, I am re-shaping my routine. Sure, there will be times that I will have to step out into an area of weakness, but because I am aware of the ways I typically operate, I can do my best to create a framework that allows me to utilize those strengths.

9) Give out of the overflow: Although I wish I could always operate in my strengths, I know that just isn’t the case. Yet, God promises that He is strong when we are weak. If we allow Him to pour into and fill us up, then we just give out of the overflow of what He is giving us.

Honestly, I could add so much more to this list. I have been challenged and stretched in ways I did not dream possible, but I also have seen God’s grace and provision throughout the whole process. I am thankful for this first season of ministry and excited to see what He has in store in the future!

I am curious to hear from some of you! What are some of the biggest lessons you learned when you first started in ministry? What advice would you give to those starting a new ministry assignment? Isn’t it great that we can all learn from each other!?


- Carly









Monday, July 28, 2014

3 Things A Leader Taught Me

Last week, I had the chance to share about one of the coolest, effective, most dedicated youth workers I know -- MY DAD!! My friend, Brooklyn Lindsey, asked me to write a guest post on her blog, as part of a series "3 Things A Leader Taught Me." You can check out the original post here (and read more entries in the series), or I have included my post below for your convenience!

_______________________________________________________________

Mike started working with our youth ministry when I was in 7th grade. Mike was consistent, encouraging, and without hesitation, dove into the lives of students. Mike wore many hats. He was a multiple hour van driving, service project planning, volleyball coaching, small group leading, sleep-on-the-floor-during-a-mission trip, do whatever needs to be done, kind of volunteer. Most students called him by his first name. I called him Dad.
My dad started volunteering with the youth at my home church when I entered into the teen department, and he continues to this day. It has been 17 years and my dad, who is now a retired school teacher, is still a part of the youth ministry team.
I have been blessed to observe my dad in ministry for the last 17 years and these are three of my biggest take-aways:
  1. Be consistent. Consistency is invaluable. Whenever students walked in the door of our youth ministry on Sundays, they always knew that Mike would be there to greet them. When most things in their lives were unpredictable and chaotic, they could count on my dad’s presence and encouragement.
  2. Stay in it. You don’t have to grow out of youth ministry: All it takes is willingness, availability, and a heart to serve.
  3. Embrace the fun. Nicknames and a quirky sense of humor go a long way!
My dad has an incredible gift for making each person he comes in contact with feel special and valued. He is also the king of fun nicknames. For instance, when he was on a mission trip in San Francisco with our youth group a few years ago, he spent some time with a homeless man, who he nicknamed “Bob Marley.”A few days later, when my dad was in a completely different part of town, that same man sought him out and exclaimed with the biggest smile on his face, “Hey Mike! It’s me…Bob Marley!”

My dad is intentional to let others know that he “sees”them; they are not just one in the crowd, but they are a unique, special child of God. As I serve in youth ministry, I look to my dad as an example of what it means to truly “see”and serve. I know that there are countless “Bob Marleys”in my youth ministry who are waiting for me to call their name and journey with them as we corporately find our identities in Christ.

Carly and her dad, Mike, sightseeing in London last fall.

Sunday, June 29, 2014

What Laser Tag Taught Me About Living In Victory

I love laser tag.

There, I said it.

I LOVE LASER TAG.

It all started during my junior high days when I would go to Q-Zar with my friends. It was such a thrill to wander around in the dark, attempt to dodge the laser beams coming from my opponents' direction, and hear the crazy sound of re-loading my laser. I loved it all.... and I still do.

Thankfully, I am not the only one. My husband and his family enjoy it as well, so we made it a family tradition to play laser tag when we went to visit them in Washington. The place we play there, is seriously the best ever. It is huge. It has three levels. And it is awesome. 

Here's a picture of us playing laser tag a few years ago.
Although I love laser tag, I will say this -- I had no idea how to play strategically. I would usually just hide out by the re-loading station and not venture too far from my team's side. I mean, in my mind, I really thought I was trying, but I almost always had one of the lowest scores in the bunch.

About a month ago, I had the opportunity to play laser tag with some middle schoolers at an annual summer event. I went into the prep room, suited up, and decided I was going to try a different tactic: I was going to attack the opposing team's base as much as possible. I did end up getting tagged by other players a fair amount, but I didn't let it stop me. I just kept my focus on the other team's base. I tagged that station as many times as I possibly could before the game was over.

At the end of the game, I went to look at the scores and much to my surprise, I had won! Wait... what? I, Carly, had the highest score out of everyone who had played that round? I had to look at it a few times to make sure I wasn't seeing things! After I realized that I was truly seeing the scoreboard correctly, the realization sunk in that my new tactic had worked! Instead of hiding out, I decided to step up and be an offensive player. I came away victorious! I felt like throwing my hands in the air and fist pumping to this song.

When it comes to our spiritual lives, I am convinced that God wants us to fight strategically and experience victory. We are only able to experience true victory when we do not hide from the enemy. As I mentioned, for years, when I played laser tag, I stayed in my own territory, where I believed I was safest. I was trying to be a strong defensive player, but I wasn't playing offensively. I had missed that whole concept. 

In my spiritual life, I have had a tendency to do the same. As I wrote in my last blog post, I created a habit of hiding when fears arose and when I felt the attacks of the enemy. Yet, as I am learning to find my security in God, I realize that He calls us to be offensive and not to be afraid of the enemy. He wants us to go after what is ours. He wants us to re-claim the territory that the enemy has tried to take from us. With His help, we certainly can do this, for we are more than conquerors through Christ (Romans 8:37)! 

Last week, I came across this verse: "The LORD says to my lord: "Sit at my right hand until I make your enemies a footstool for your feet" (Psalm 110:1). Jesus even quotes it later in Luke 20. The emphasis on this Scripture means that we need to take it seriously. Our enemies will be under our feet, but we have to abide in Christ and rely on His strength. This abiding isn't passive. It is very active. It is offensive. We must be diligent to be in His Word, and then we must be disciplined to believe His Word and apply it to our lives. We can use the promises of the Word of God to take back what the enemy has tried to take from us. We can reclaim our territory because we are standing firm on the promises of God. 

God is calling us to rise up. We can't hide while the enemy throws lies our way. Instead, we have to stand on the promises of God and take an offensive position. Our victory has already been won. We just have to make the choice (every day, every minute) to strategically walk forward in the victory that He has laid out for us. 

We have resurrection power because of Christ in us. Let's act like it. 
Let's be the bold and courageous people that He has called us to be.

- Carly






Tuesday, June 24, 2014

Monsters Under The Bed


Were you afraid of monsters under your bed when you were a kid? Yeah, I was too!!

I remember running into my room at full speed, leaping a good 2 feet in front of my bed, and then landing with a sigh of relief. I thought if I just ran fast enough and jumped far enough, that I would dodge those crazy creatures under my bed.

Looking back, it was silly, but at the time, it was sure something that scared me! I truly felt that the moment I actually got in my bed and hid, I was safe.

I have dealt with some sort of fear for most of my life. My fears are usually completely irrational and somewhat silly. Just like the monsters-under-the-bed scenario, when I step back and gain some perspective I am able to see my fears in a different light; they seem to fade away. Yet, in the midst of times of fear, I feel as if I want to hide. I don't want to be vulnerable. I don't want to take risks. I just want to hide and crawl into my bed, if you will. That hiding makes me feel somewhat safe and protected. Yet, in all actuality, that is a false sense of security. In those moments, I take the "helpless" route, when God calls me (and you!) to rise up and be the conquerors that He has called us to be. He wants us to do something with the gifts, abilities, and moments that He has given us... instead of just hiding away.

I have been going through the Gospel of Matthew in the last few weeks and the Parable of Talents got me good the other day. It spoke directly to the fears that I have been facing. This story that I have heard since I was a child, came alive in a new way to me. Isn't that just like Jesus? He speaks through His Word, which is alive and active!

Anyway, back to the Parable of the Talents found in Matthew 22:14-30. The story isn't about what we think of as talents nowadays, but "talents" actually meant money... A talent was worth more than $1000 back in Biblical times! That's a lot of money, and I am not talking about Monopoloy money! I am talking about the real deal. So, in the story, Jesus told of a man who called his servants and gave them each a different amount of money. He was entrusting the money to them because he was going on a journey. He gave one man 5 talents, and that guy was creative, diligent, and hard-working. He went out and earned an additional 5 talents. The second servant received 2 talents, and similar to the first servant, he doubled his money. The third and final servant received 1 talent and guess what he did... Instead of going out to try to earn more money, he dug a hole in the ground and hid his talent.

When the master came home, he asked the servants to bring back the money he had entrusted to them. He was pleased with the first two servants. Yet, then it came time for the third servant to show the master what he had earned. In explaining his situation he said, "I was afraid and went out and hid your talent in the ground. See, here is what belongs to you" (Matt. 25:25). The master was disappointed with the third servant and took his money and gave it to the one who had risked the most.

As I was reading this story, I tried to understand the third, cautious, hesitant servant. As I read Matt. 25:25 a few times, the words "afraid," and "hid," stood out to me. The servant was afraid. What was he afraid of? He may have been afraid of failure. He didn't want to lose the money. He was afraid of risk. He was probably afraid that he wasn't strong enough, creative enough, or hard-working enough, to earn more money. I think he was afraid that he was inadequate. He did not feel like he could go out and make a difference in the world.

So, what did these fears drive him to do? Hide. In a sense, he, too, was afraid of the monsters under his own bed. This fear drove him hide the money, and this created this false sense of security around what had been entrusted to him. In that moment, he was giving power to his fears. He was giving power to the lies that he was bound to fail and that he was not adequate. He was giving power to the fears that he was not strong enough to make a difference and engage in the world.

Just like the servant, I, too, can become afraid of taking risks. Sometimes, it is just easier to hide. Yet, God calls all of us to hold our heads high, trust in Him, and engage the world. I once heard someone say, "Any time you feel backed into a corner, that is not of God." So, as I learn to face my fears, I know that I must first recognize when I want to hide in my comfort zone, and secondly, do exactly the opposite of that. As soon as I feel like I want to hide, I must instead rise up. I must trust the One who has entrusted me with life, passions, abilities, callings, and relationships.

I must trust the One who has entrusted me. 

I want to be bold and courageous. I am called to be bold and courageous.
So are you.

Let's stop hiding, stop fearing, and stop playing it safe.
Let's learn a whole new way of trusting in the One who is trustworthy to the moon and back.
He has promised to never leave us or forsake us, so let's move forward in confidence, knowing that "He who called us is faithful" (1 Thess. 5:24).

No more hiding from your monsters under the bed.




Tuesday, May 13, 2014

The Brook Dried Up

I struggle with making decisions. I mean... I REALLY struggle or should I say,

 "The struggle is real."

I have a hard time deciding what to make for dinner, what to wear in the mornings, and what TV series to start watching next on Netflix. However, the big decisions in life are even more paralyzing. Maybe it is because I typically don't deal well with change? I understand that change is inevitable, but when I find a routine I like, I prefer not to change. Is that so bad?

I believe that there are times that we should plant roots, settle in, and plan to stick it out for the long haul. Yet, I also believe that at a moment's notice we should be ready to go where God calls. Thankfully, He gives us signs and guidance when we need to change... and in the story of Elijah, guidance came in the form of a babbling brook.

Here's a little background...

In 1 Kings 17, we meet Elijah. He is bold and goes and tells the evil king two things. First, he tells him that he is a servant of the Lord and secondly, he says that it will not rain in the land for the next few years. Yikes. No rain = No crops = No food = Bad situation. So, then, after Elijah tells the King this not-so-uplifitng news, God tells Elijah to go and hide in the Kareth Ravine. While he is there, birds bring him food each morning and each evening. Yes... you read that right! Birds brought him food twice a day, every day! There was also a brook where he could get drinking water. This was miraculous because there was no rain, yet the water still continued to flow.

Elijah had what he needed to survive. Sure, it wasn't like he was staying at the DoubleTree and eating at P.F. Changs every night, but God was miraculously giving him all that he needed. God sustained him and Elijah learned how to trust God in a whole new way. Elijah experienced God, His provider.

Yet, in 1 Kings 17:7-8, we read this: Some time later, the brook dried up because there had been no rain the land. Then the word of the Lord came to him, "Go at once to Zarephath of Sidon and stay there. I have commanded a widow in that place to supply you with food."

When the brook dried up, can you imagine what Elijah felt?
"What in the world? Where are you, Lord? Why have you stopped providing for me?"
I am sure that there were panic-filled moments. He may have felt abandoned, hurt, discouraged and disappointed. He most likely felt afraid for his life and wondering what to do next.

Yet, God said, "Go!" and He gave Elijah directions as to where go next. As the story continues, we see that God continues to miraculously provide for Elijah as he meets with and ministers to the widow and her son. You'll have to read the rest of Elijah's story in 1 Kings 17-19. It is awesome to see how God continues to use this man of faith. However, let's sit in this section for a bit because I think we can learn a lot about the guiding hand of our God through this story.

A few things stood out to me:
1) When the brook was flowing, Elijah wasn't going. 
He stayed where God was sustaining him. The brook was life-giving, so Elijah stayed where he was in the midst of God's provision.
2) When the brook dried up, God said "Go!" 
When the life-giving supply ran dry, it was time for Elijah to move on. God didn't stop caring, He did not run out of resources. Yet, instead He dried up the brook, because He knew that He another step in store for Elijah. If God hadn't dried up the brook, Elijah may not have moved. He may have stayed where he had become comfortable and where he had what he needed.

I believe that we can connect this story to our lives and use Elijah's life to help us understand the guiding hand of God. God will always provide for us. We can stand by this promise in Scripture (Philippians 4:19). Yet, God does not just want to provide for us. He wants us to have abundant life! He wants us to be in a place and situation that is life-giving! So, when a situation is diminishing in it's ability to encourage and rejuvenate us, it may be time to go! It may be time to physically move. The brook drying up in your life may mean that it is time for a new season, a new place, a new ministry focus, etc. For others, it may mean that you need to stay put, but look for ways to change your habits, so that you can find life where you are! When your brook is drying up, God does not intend for you to stay. He came so that we can experience abundant life, and I believe that He calls us to make a change when we feel dry. He does not want us to stay in the desert. He wants us to experience the Promised Land.

I remember when I was about to graduate from high school, I was already dreaming about college... my dorm room, my new microwave, my new friendships, etc. During my last semester of college, I was excited and ready for the next steps, too. I loved both of those chapters of my life, but my brook was drying up. God was preparing me to "Go!" This can be such a gift to us, because it helps us ease out of a previous chapter into a new one.

Sometimes, in my spiritual life, I start to feel dry. I think many of us experience those "mountaintop" times, but when I hit the valleys, I know that God is calling me to "Go!" I need to pursue God with more fervor, more discipline, and more hunger. I can't stay put in mediocrity. I have to stay by the flowing, bubbling brook, because that is where I find LIFE. Abundant life. Life in the Spirit.

If you are abiding by a babbling, flowing brook, thank God for His abundant blessings! Continue to drink of His life-giving, sustaining, all-you-need streams! Yet, if your brook is drying up, don't dig your heels in, and stay where you are comfortable and established. Instead, search for God! Search for life! He does not make Himself difficult to find. Look for streams of living water, and there you will find our God.

- Carly



Monday, March 17, 2014

Bible Study in a Furniture Store... Yep, It Happened!

For about a month now, I have been meeting with some college gals on Saturdays to talk about life and Jesus over coffee. It has been such a blessing to journey together and thank God for all of the blessings He gives us.

We normally meet at our favorite local coffee shop, but a few weeks ago, we had to change our plans. We arrived at the coffee shop to find that there was no where for our large group to gather. I had actually woken up in the night wondering if this may happen. In the midst of that sleepy moment, I prayed and asked God to take care of it. In the midst of my praying, I thought about the furniture store across the street from the coffee shop. Hmmmm... what a funny idea. That's about all I thought before I quickly slipped back into dreamland. 

The next morning when we arrived at the coffee shop and found ourselves seat-less, I decided to go out on a limb and call the furniture store. I had been into the store before, as my parents perused the couch section, and I thought I remembered that they played Christian music in the showroom. I figured that just maybe they would allow us to come and hang out in their store.

I dialed the number on my phone and a friendly voice answered with a warm hello.

"Hi... uh... my name is Carly and I have a really weird request." 
((Way to go, Carly... what a great way to start the conversation...))
"Okay... Hi... what is it?"
"Well, I lead a Bible Study for a group of girls from the college... and we are across the street at the coffee shop and there is no where for our group to sit. It is so crowded in here."
Awkward silence ((Carly, keep talking... come on, spit it out...))
"So, I am wondering if we could come study in your store this morning?"
"Well, sure, come on over!"
"Would you mind if we bring over our coffee? We will totally clean up if we spill."
((I totes have a Tide To Go stick in my purse...))
"Oh sure. That's fine. We will see you in a minute."
Sigh of relief.

I gathered the girls and we marched like little ants, across the street to the furniture store. I went to the counter and was greeted by a nice woman with kind eyes. I thanked her for allowing us to come to the store and I mentioned that I had noticed that they played Christian music. She smiled and told me that they were Christians and that they were thrilled we were there that morning. She set us up in the showroom and as we got settled in to study, we all had huge smiles on our faces.

Who would have ever thought we'd be having Bible Study in a furniture store?! We were so tickled as we looked around and took in our study atmosphere. What an unexpected blessing. What a fun surprise.

God is so good to bring us what we need. He is a God full of fun surprises and blessings. It is exciting to journey with such a creative God. He loves to give good gifts and He fills us with joy as we go through our daily lives with Him. 

The Saturday that we had Bible Study in the furniture store will stick out in my mind for quite some time. God broke us out of our routine, showed us He will provide for us, and that He loves to surprise His kids with unexpected blessings. 

Are you ready to receive the unexpected from God today? 
I can't wait to see what God has in store! 
(Ha! That is an intentional pun... but I am totally leaving it now... get it: in store...Okay, I am done.)

- Carly